Good Touch vs Bad Touch

Life is tough, especially when you are dependent on others and do not have any idea what things happening around you mean. Some of us have our own experiences, ones which are hard to be shared with anyone. It is hard because you don’t know what to share. One such experience could be childhood sexual abuse. In India, parents have never been comfortable discussing the value of good Touch and bad Touch with their kids, and this is one reason why the prevalence of child sex abuse existed and continues to happen. But with rapidly changing times, parents are becoming more aware and open to discussing the issues with their children. If you have a child and are wondering how to take that step, read this article to find out how you can talk about Good Touch vs Bad Touch with your child. Read on!

 

What is Good Touch? 

Before getting into the difference between good and bad Touch, it is imperative to understand what is good Touch first. Good Touch is the Touch that cares for them, a touch which is necessary for the child’s safety and health, which makes them feel safe. 

Examples- A relative offering a child a hug where a child happily accepts, a parent/ guardian changing child’s nappy and cleaning the diaper, child sitting on someone’s lap while the person reads a story, a doctor caring for child’s injury. 

 

What is Bad Touch? 

Bad Touch is any intentional touch, not necessary for the child’s health. Any touch on the genitals or bottom or chest that doesn’t make them feel safe makes the child feel scared. 

Examples- Anybody touching a child’s genitals if they are not doing something necessary to check child’s health, anyone touches a child and asks them not to tell anyone, hugging the child even though he doesn’t accept it, two children playing together where one of them doesn’t like it, but another one is having fun. 

It is evident from the discussion that good Touch is what makes us feel good about ourselves, makes us happy and wanted. Bad Touch, on the other hand, only makes us uncomfortable and scared. Therefore, the child must know when to say a “No”. If he knows when exactly something is wrong, his lifetime of discomfort, unhealthy relationships and abuse can be stopped.

 

Teaching your child Good Touch vs Bad Touch

There is no right or wrong time for teaching your child this concept; do it when you feel the time is right. Parents feel the discomfort in talking about sex and Touch with their children. The child must know about it before it is too late.

There are three crucial things you can teach your child:

 

1. Teach children the correct names of their body parts- we teach our child the names of their body parts but do not include the genitals. Children often find it hard to tell that someone has sexually abused them because they do not know the words to use. Learning the correct words for private body parts gives children the words when they are telling someone. It also makes easy for them to understand that it is okay to talk about it when they have been sexually abused

When you are teaching them about different body parts, consider using the correct words for private body parts along with the usual “tummy”, “nose”, “ears”, “tongue” etc.

If your child is too small, let us say, 3-4 years old, you can name the private areas as “danger” zones and normal body parts as “safe” zones. Teach them that it is absolutely not okay to touch the danger zones and they must scream out “NO” if somebody touches this zone and tell their parents.

 

 2. Teach your child that he is the “boss.”

For your children to believe that, you have to tell them that they are in full control of their body. If your child doesn’t want to be touched in some area of his body other than private, respect them. 

Also, do not insist that your child receives or gives hugs and kisses from your friends and relatives if they do not wish to. Make it clear to the relatives as well that you are teaching your child good and bad Touch, and they should not be offended if your child behaves oddly.

 

3. Teach your child the three kinds of touches

A) Safe Touch- to keep the child safe, healthy, clean, hugging and showing love.

B) Unsafe Touch- touches that hurt the child’s feelings and body. Examples- hitting, pushing, kicking and pinching.

C) Unwanted Touches- Safe touches that a child doesn’t want at that particular moment. They should not be forced either.

 

Safety Rules your child should know!!

It is not okay if;

1. Someone touches your private body parts

2. You touch someone’s private parts.

3. Someone touches their private parts in front of you

4. Someone asks you to take your clothes off except the doctor that too for inspection 

5. You are telling someone to touch their private parts and take their clothes off.

6. Not okay if someone takes your photos and videos without clothes and shows you videos of someone without clothes.

7. If somebody forces yourself onto you

 

 What should you tell your child to do when somebody touches in the wrong way?

1. Say NO! Tell the person you don’t like it and ask them to stop.

2. Runaway from there if somebody touches you

3. Run to your parents, call somebody they trust. You have not done anything wrong. It is not your mistake.

4. Do not believe the threats of that bad person, instead tell somebody you trust about what happened instantly.

5. Do not keep any secrets that make you uncomfortable. Keep telling people if one doesn’t believe you because someone else will.

6. Do everything that you can to stay away from this person.

 

This was about Good vs Bad Touch and how you can teach your child this concept along with some ground rules. 

Anxiety of the parents : When it’s time for their children to go to school

Anxiety of the parents: when it’s time for their children to go to school

Children are the most beautiful creations of God. But in today’s competitive world, this creation is getting diminished gradually. Everybody wants their children to be the best but nobody does the needful. One of the most important and the first and foremost step is to get a proper schooling for the children.

The anxiety of the parents, as well as the children during their schooling time, is something very normal. The parents become more anxious than their children thinking if their children will be able to cope up with the entirely new environment, or they might be bullied, or they might get punished, or they might get hurt or they might get anxious themselves. Several things run through a parent’s mind while they think of the schooling of their children. Being a parent is one of the most precious as well as the toughest task but being anxious is just a negative add on to the entire thing.

From waking up in the early morning till the time she goes to sleep at night, the parents go through the toughest phase of their lives. A lot of things go in their mind, one of them being the anxiety of the schooling of her child. But this feeling is normal during a new phase or a new transition of life.

A child is a young soul and many things do not come into his/her head. A kid just goes with the flow but the parents, especially the mothers go through a lot of it when it’s time for their children to go to school. They go through tough time thinking about facts like,

  • Will the child be able to fit in,
  • Are their clothes well ironed?
  • How will the teacher be?
  • What if the kid misses the school bus,
  • What if the child does not understand what is taught in school and is left behind,
  • What if something bad happens at the school?
  • Tiffin related problems
  • Bullying issues.

These are the most basic problems that make a parent anxious when it is the time for their children to go to school. But then again the fact pops up in the head that schooling and education is one of the basic needs of the children.

Overcoming the problems:

Overcoming these problems is absolutely mandatory for the parents. If the parents themselves get this much anxious then the child will face even more problems to adapt to the new situations and environments. The parents should motivate their children and make themselves understand that this is one of the most important things of life and that in this way  not only will the child get educated but also become more and more social and make new friends. They will get to learn more social skills and will also get valuable opportunities in the near future. They will also be acknowledged for their talents will which will also boost up the self-confidence in them which was earlier lacking.

Hence, to get released from the stress and anxiety, the parents need to get a positive mindset first and then give that boost to their children also. This way both will remain positive and overcome the anxiety together.

Preschool teachers can do wonder for the children

Preschool teachers can do wonder for the children

The parents do struggle a lot to make their 3-year-old child get ready, to put on his jacket. But a preschool teacher has to manage many kids. He/she just takes less than three minutes to put on their clothes and take them to the playground.

Then what is the special quality she has?

The kids are more prompt and quick to respond to the strangers than their parents. The teachers reinforce different types of techniques to help the little ones acquire knowledge and skills. As a result, the kids learn to keep the classrooms clean and tidy. The teachers make their tasks more entertaining and pleasure some. The preschool teachers have a lot of experience every year with the difficult and demanding age group.

Specialty of the teachers and their secrets:

  • The kindergarten kids do not lag behind:

 

The children seem to hinder the attempts of their parents to go to school every morning. But quickly  they get ready when the teacher declares that the time is over and return from the playground. The parents tell their kids to vacate the playground but stop and start conversing with other parents. But when a teacher says something, they understand that she means it.

It suggests that offering a couple or two soft yet strong warning will help in proper all over development of children.

Kids always make a response to signals which they hear or calculate. A child may have a problem saying goodbye. But very soon she will develop and adapt the routine.

The teachers can play the same notes on the piano every day as a sign that the free play is over. Even they can blink the lights in the room, use an egg timer or bell to show the kids that the time is over. Counting too motivates the kids to complete the picking up the process in a rush. Compliments and achievements on their individual efforts are far better than earthly and material baits.

Also allowing the child to compete against herself improves her speed and gives an immense learning possibility. Timings should be maintained in case of getting ready for school, studies, and bed. Charts and graphs help to assess the child’s speed on separate days and urge her to win against her best time.

  • Kids can hold the scissors and pens much before the parents expect

Many parents hold their children pencils, paper and kid safe scissors to help their children advance their motor and writing skills. The preschool teachers first make the kids acquire  the skill in basic movements such as grasping nuts, small blocks with the help of stringing beads, kitchen tongs, rolling out play clay and cutting them with scissors.

As soon as the child has mastered it, he can cut thin little different colored strips of paper. Once he has completed his cutting, he considers himself competent and confident.

As far as writing is concerned, at first the kids manifest interests in using pencils and want to go beyond loops, scribbles, and doodles. Very soon he feels defeated that he cannot write alphabets. The teacher must continue to practice his holding of pencils like a mature person. The teacher must also allow him to copy or record anything he wishes to jot down.

  • Routines and structure are important for cat naps

The kid along with other children goes for a nap as the other children are performing the same things. As a result, it is achieved with minimal effort in the preschools than at home. Many times the impatient and restless kids cover their eyes with a blanket and they do not search around.

  • Importance of children’s attention

Instead of uplifting the voice for getting child’s attention, it is better preferred to raise the voice for singing. If the children are not paying attention to a story telling, just converting it in a singing mode will let them listen to the story. The teacher applies various verbal strategies like whispering, quietly making facial expressions receive the attention of children. They even use visual clues like asking the children to do the same as shown by them or placing a hand up in the air or touching their finger to their noses.

Once received the kid’s full attention, the teachers keep their pronouncements short, clear and to the point.

  • The child wants to dress himself all alone

Many kids wish to have the feelings of self-confidence, independence and achievements by dressing themselves. The child learns to organize his clothing the night before, labeling the dresses, habit of keeping the costumes and uniforms when not under time pressure. So, the child will learn to differentiate between the frontal side and the back.

  • Play is the medium of education for the preschoolers

While giving homework, the teachers behave in such a way that it seems to the children more of fun and entertaining than simple route learning. The teachers through literacy project, effortlessly use letters in projects and games like counting books and customized mathematics.

The child takes pleasure because he has his exclusive private weapon, an institution of wholehearted love waiting at home for him.

The Importance of Having Values in Life.

The 21st century in which we live in is a total revolution of ideas and thoughts. It’s a fact that time and tide wait for none. Focusing on this phrase people nowadays are busy running in their lives. We believe in being financially healthy, and the very purpose of our life has been lost. These days people are more self-centered and careless about others emotions. We are always concerned about our selfish motive and can go to any extent to achieve it. Sometimes in just fulfilling our needs, we forget our values.

The moral values in our lives act as guiding principles. Having these values in our lives makes it much easier, happier and fruitful.Missions and aims are crucial in life, but forgetting everything to fulfil them can be harmful too. At any point in life, we should not forget what is right and what is wrong. The values inside us reflect as to what we are. We always have the chance to reflect our brighter side by our deeds. The character of an individual is always shaped by what values he or she inculcates.

It is essential for everyone to have moral values in their lives. Without values, we stand nowhere in the society. Values play a significant role in forming our image and depicting our personality.However, values do not develop overnight and has to be inculcated over a period of time.The earlier you start, the better it is

It is the need of the hour to teach and make children understand the importance of moral values. The values like respecting elders, greeting everyone, etc. should be present in each one of us to bring about the necessary change in the society. It is a fact; charity begins at home. We can’t imagine of bringing about a change in the society if we do not do the required. Children have a habit of observing their surroundings and adapting to it very quickly. It totally depends on us how as to what we want our children to learn. It is necessary for schools and parents to teach children the core values they must have. By nourishing their present, we can ensure to have their future secured. Putting in efforts and working hard to teach them moral values will prove to be fruitful. We must strive to make them responsible, valued and respected figures in the future course of their lives.

For the successful living, values play a significant role in our lives. Personal values are the essence of who we are. Being ambitious in life is very important but not only professionally, but we must also keep a constant check on what values we must inculcate in our lives each day. If we don’t have a control on our lives, someone else will take over the charge. So, it’s better for us to have a focus on our values.

Here are some reasons that depict the importance of moral values in our lives:
Help us in having a respected and dignified position in the society
Puts us much away from the crowd
Improves personal health
Reduces stress
Avoids fights, conflicts
Makes the journey of life fruitful and meaningful

Given the above, we must make all possible efforts to inculcate good moral values in our children not just by preaching but by becoming a role model ourselves to ensure a bright and prosperous future full of moral values for our beloved children.For more such Parenting Tips Click Here.

Finding the Right Play School for your Kid

Pre School Education has become extremely important in today’s context as the Child needs to be prepared well in advance for the grinding in the formal School. Pre School lays the foundation for the overall development of the child and ensures values and disciplines are inculcated in the child from the very beginning.

However, the sad part is that the parents at times do not take Pre School education seriously taking it as just a formality or a precursor to the start of formal education, thinking that the child is too small for all the effort. However, in reality, it is a huge step towards preparing the child physically as well as mentally for the challenges ahead.
So Parents need to ensure that all possible effort is taken to find the right Pre School for your Child which can help in easing the burden of the parents.

Looking for the Right Pre School for your Child ? keep in mind the following:

-Do a background check on the credentials of the School as to when was it started and years in operation

-Distance from your house and the kind of transport facility offered by the Pre School

-How many teachers does the Pre School have and the support staff to take care of your precious one.Ensure that the school has a decent Student-Teacher ratio so that your child can get undivided personalised attention.

-Quality of Staff in terms of professionalism, competence and overall courtesy

-The Teaching Methodology in the classrooms? Is it interactive and Playful enough to keep your child engrossed?

– Have a look at the infrastructure and its surroundings.

-Ensure that the school is safe and secure for your little one to be completely at ease

-Facilities offered by the School-Does it have enough of Play Area, clean washrooms (boys and girls separate ), How good is the study place-Does it have the ambience for the young ones to be able to concentrate on studies and what are the kind of things they get to do in School!

-Does the school offer the facility to find out what’s happening in the campus! Call it modern day technology-It can help in getting updates or real-time pictures as and when required.

-How are the Meals prepared? Is it or will it be hygienic for your precious ones and what kind of water does the child get to drink.

-Is there any provision to monitor the Classrooms or the corridors of the school to ensure 100% Safety of the Children?

–How well can the school handle medical emergencies? Does it have what it takes to ensure timely medical attention for your Child?

-Find out if the Pre School has the facility of a creche in case it is required. If yes then till what time is it available and how good are the facilities.

-And very importantly-Does your Preschool offer guidance to students for getting admissions in Formal Schools

Looking for The Best Schools for Your Child -Find Them Right Here!

So next time you are looking for a Pre School-Do not just take it casually-It is as important as the Formal School and find an answer to the above before taking the final plunge. Preschool is the first place away from home for a Child in their life-Try to make their experience as joyful as possible and remember not to compromise on the quality of education as it will lay the foundation for your child. Take an informed decision so that tomorrow your child can be proud of his Pre School association and remember it fondly with Pride and Joy.

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